Sunday, 11 January 2015

Gotta save 'em all... But I can't.

I've discovered a lovely little game boy/DS emulator, and I've decided I'm going to have a go at The Nuzlocke Challenge on a version of Pokémon.

It's basically Pokémon; super hard mode.  I watch a YouTube user named Projared who has videoed his and it looks difficult. The rules are as follows.

1) You can catch only one Pokémon per area/route/cave- the first one you encounter.
2) When a Pokémon faints; it is considered dead. (It must be taken to the nearest Pokémon PC and released)
3) No revival items.
4) Once you have owned a Pokémon, you cannot catch duplicates of it.

I'm also embracing a few extra rules I've seen used:-

1) All Pokémon are to be given a nickname; The first one that comes into your head, or the first combination of sounds put together.
2)No healing in battle unless at critical (red) health. 

I will be playing the Pearl Version- because I haven't played it before. Already in my game there has been the first blood of war: my Kricketot had no moves except bide, and died in its second battle due to critical hits. 

I've also had a bit of fun with the trainer names. I've called myself "Fuck, I" which leads to such gems as "Fuck, I found a potion!"

But I also called the rival "...Shit" and that has proven for some unexpected laughter. 

I nearly fell off my chair with this one


Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Living in the Here and Now

I like to imagine how things would play out if I had made different choices. 

It's almost like a game. I guess at what would have happened, and whether whatever events transpire would be good, or bad.

Unfortunately, unlike a Bioware-esque RPG, we cannot go back and explore our "branching paths." We can't save our progress just before, and reset if it all goes ugly. We make our decisions and all we can do is wonder what might have been. 

"If I hadn't met you"
"If I had said no"
"If I had more strength"
"If I hadn't taken that job"
"If I had stayed friends with you"

And sure, doing that doesn't come without its fair share of regret, but the important thing is, now you're here- and you've got to make the best of what you've got. 

The past is in the past, and those you left there are left for a reason. Do not dwell there yourself, because the here and now is all that you can change. 

Here and now is all that is worth changing. Be that change.

Friday, 2 January 2015

What Katie Did.

Inside and out, Katie Hopkins is a repulsive individual. 

Tonight, her- I suppose you could call it- documentary "My Fat Story" airs. In it, Mrs Hopkins, 39 (astonishing, isn't it?), documents how she put on four stone, and attempted to lose it again. This is in hope of demonstrating that overweight and obese people are only that way because of their own actions and choices, and if they would only take control of their lifestyle, they wouldn't be that way. 

The main problem with this is the tone; but we will get to that. The first criticism that should be levelled is the complete ignorance shown. Many people simply eat too unhealthily, too often, and exercise too little, but not all people are fat due to diet. Our metabolisms all work at different rates- and there are an array of glandular problems that can cause a person's body to put on weight, despite eating quite well. People can also put on weight due to steroid and contraceptive medication, largely outside of their control. In that light, whilst it may or may not be easy for Katie, it won't be easy for everyone. However it's not really in what she is doing- it's the way she is doing it. She is highlighting only her own preconceived notions and prejudices- not anything of intellectual value.

But that's just Katie. Despite the backlash over this programme, she has dismissed her detractors as "angry chubsters". Most of the bile she coughs up in public appearances and social media is designed solely to shock; she is in-fact, a troll that ventures into the outside world as well as the online one. She fits the profile perfectly. Dim-witted, blundering and swinging with no regard for what's going on round about her. This is the same woman, we must remember, who professed on This Morning that she determined the class of a child by his or her name, and wouldn't allow her own children to play with kids she seemed of lower class. Asked to provide examples of such names, she included "any geographical names"; despite the fact her own daughter is named India, as Philip Schofield pointed out with baffled incredulity.

This week she has outdone herself though- taking to Twitter to proclaim that we in Scotland are "Sweaty little jocks" who are "sending Ebola bombs to London in the form of sweaty Glaswegians". This was referring to Pauline Cafferkey, the Scottish nurse who contracted Ebola whilst volunteering as a nurse to help victims of the virus in Sierra Leone, and was transferred to a London hospital from Glasgow. In a separate tweet, she remarked "Not so independent when it matters, are we Jocksville?"

So, I reported her to the police. I also posted a link to the Police Scotland report form for hate speech on several prominent newspaper articles on Facebook, to encourage others to do the same. 

After doing this, I received a number of reply comments on the threads, saying that it was a waste of time and police resources. It was suggested that instead, I should adopt the stratagem of "ignore her and she will go away", which likens her behaviour as a mere schoolyard bully. I was also accused of being too eager to cry offence, and along with the rest of the Scottish populace, accused of having a victim complex. 

Let's get one thing straight; to a Scot, the word "Jock" is a slur- it implies and imposes many negative stereotypes upon us. If Katie had used a similar derogatory word aimed at someone of a different ethnicity, ("Paki" for instance) there simply would be no debate. Indeed, substitute another nationality and its corresponding racial slur, and see how that sounds to you.

But that isn't the only reason. As well as using a slur against a nation of people, she didn't even acknowledge Pauline Cafferkey as a human being. Rather than the brave and selfless human being she is, having risked her life to save the lives of others, she has been held in the same regard as a plague rat. For that reason, Katie should receive the same treatment as that scumbag from Sunderland, who insulted the victims of the George Square tragedy. Why should her ill-gotten celebrity status make her exempt from the law? Reporting her online conduct is completely justified.

Katie Hopkins, you are an utter carbuncle. My sincere hope is that your next misadventure will be "My Jail Story", and that nobody but you will be subject to it. The next image of you I hope to see, is you being led away in handcuffs with that sanctimonious smile wiped right off your face. 

Thursday, 1 January 2015

Day zero.

Yesterday was diet day one- but truly- it was day zero. Going to work this morning was always going to be the first challenge: going into the garage to get a newspaper, surrounded by all those energy drinks and other unhealthy delicious stuff. I got some olives instead.

It feels a bit weird at first substituting lettuce leaves for bread- but it works. I don't get the heavy bloated feeling, just feel pleasantly full afterward. 

I also took my day one photo. I'm not going to post it here and now- I want something to compare it to. I am quite self-conscious of my body (as weird as that might seem coming from a 6ft 2" beardy fella). I imagine that'll get better with the progression of things, but I'm still unlikely to be one of those guys who loses the top in the summer days. 

The next big challenge for me will be the food shop. Over the next few weeks I'll be trying out some Paleo recipes- I'll post one on here too, so that you guys can try it if you so desire!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Another year gone. 

Aside from my dietary changes- I will also resolve to write here more often and also to tweet more- not that many people give a monkeys what I say in either place. 

Still, "All the world's a stage", an eloquent gentleman once said

Monday, 29 December 2014

The Final Mac'n'Cheese.

Because I'm going on this diet, I'm having a few foods over the next few days that I won't be able to have anymore!

The one thing I was certain I had to have was macaroni cheese. It's one of my favourite dishes and I'll miss it a lot. I want to share my recipe so other people can enjoy it.

Disclaimer: This is NOT good for you- it is serious comfort food. It is massively heavy, cheesy and indulgent. Great for a treat, or if you really want to impress.


Scott's Final Macaroni Cheese.

Ingredients:-

2oz extra mature cheddar
2oz Red Leicester 
2oz Parmigiano Regganio (Parmesan)
250ml Double cream
250ml milk
2oz butter
1oz plain flour
1tsp ground black pepper
1tsp sea salt.
250g macaroni
Approx 3tbsp breadcrumbs
150g smoked bacon lardons- or slice some of your own to 1cm width

Directions:-
Melt butter in saucepan. Using a whisk, gradually add the flour to make a roux. Whisk constantly. It should thicken, bubble and pale, but not become solid. If it does, you've added too much flour.

Gradually whisk in the cream and milk. Add salt and pepper and whisk constantly until the mixture thickens and bubbles. Add the cheese, a little bit at a time, and whisk in until completely melted. Set this to one side.

Fry bacon pieces in a pan with a little butter or oil until well crisped. Set aside on kitchen roll to soak excess grease.

Cook your macaroni as per packaging instructions. Combine with your cheesy sauce, and stir in bacon lardons. Spoon into a small lasagne dish or pie dish, and top with breadcumbs and a little extra cheddar if desired.

Bake at 200°C for 30 mins, or until the topping is golden and bubbling. Set aside for ten mins before serving!

Enjoy!

Thursday, 25 December 2014

Christmas by Numbers

Gifts
Cards received: 4
Cards recycled: 4
Presents received: 5
Presents given: 3
Presents deferred until January sales: 6
Presents disliked and reactions concealed: 0

Food
Courses eaten: 2
Chipolatas eaten: 7
Alcoholic Beverages Consumed: 4
Mince pies scoffed: 0
Cakes ingested: 3
Chocolates eaten: toofuckinmany.
Foods eaten that I won't be able to have when I start Paleo: 8

Interaction and People
"Merry Christmas!" Heard: innumerable.
People hugged: 1
Hands shaken: 6
Christmas Hats seen: 2
Festive jumpers spotted: 1
Crackers Pulled: 1
Awful jokes:
"Humbug" uttered by myself: 1

Media
Films watched: 1
TV watched (hrs): 7
Religion mentioned: 1
Jesus seen: Nope.
Santa mentioned: 3
Santa Seen: once.
Snowfall: 0cm
Snow Mentioned: 2