Psy-sick?

A couple of days ago, my mum said she thought I was coming down with a cold. 

Today, she is right. I've been up the whole night coughing, and this morning I coughed up what looked like half a road-kill ninja turtle. 

Eerie.

Fus-Roh-Damn you. (Skyrim Spoilers)

Well I finished the main plot line of Skyrim today.

I thought I would go and spread the good word to all the pivotal characters in the game. (Maybe ill get some extra loot, I thought.)

But then I got to Delphine at Sky Haven, and she says she and the blades will refuse to talk to me or help me if I don't kill Paarthurnax. 

And it turns out there's no way to back out of it. It just sits on your quest list unless you do him in- but I refuse. Paarthurnax is just too cool.

But then I found out that while he isn't an essential character, and can be killed, Delphine and Esbern are essential characters, and can't.

I felt kind of cheated. But because of where she was standing I did manage to shout her into a ravine. 

Felt like justice. Felt right.

I Find This Offensive.

I'm an opinionated person. This means that every once in a while I say something that people will disagree with. I will say some things that people might even feel offended by. 

Unfortunately however, there's nothing I can do about that.

I used to be a blogger on the website Tumblr. My most popular post (by a very long way) was a single sentence. I feel it was quite revealing of the general environment I was in:

"People on Tumblr need to realise... that just because someone disagrees with what you think, it does not mean you are being oppressed"

I am not about to retract something I've said because I've offended or upset someone. There was always a good chance of that happening.

Here is an example:

I think that Kate and Gerry McCann should be locked up. If they want to find the people responsible for their daughter's disappearance, they need only look in a mirror. If any working class or minority family failed in their duty of care to their kids the way they did- the social work department would take their other kids away. They are not victims; they are unfit parents. This is also the reason why poor Madeleine, out of all the thousands of children that go missing silently every year, gets so much attention, money and resources thrown at her case- because she is white, adorable, and from a well off family.

That could be regarded as a bit of an unpopular opinion. Do you disagree? That's fine. Are you offended? That's fine too. But that's what I think. I still think that way whether I have offended you or not.

Now you are perfectly at liberty to present an alternative point of view. I like a good debate. I would however insist that you actually present an argument instead of just telling me you're upset or offended at what I've said.

Plenty of things offend me. I'm offended by people who chew with their mouths open. I'm offended by suffering. I'm offended by people who talk over top of others, or do not allow other people to get a word in edgeways. I'm offended by anything "supernatural" for which there is no proof. I don't ask to be spared from these things because I'm offended, but I'm just not going to agree with you; and if you believe something like someone not deserving the same rights as you- because they were born different to you- then you can be damn sure I'm going to let you know how much oxygen I think you're wasting.

But I digress.

In summation; the point I'm trying to make is that it's okay if you disagree with somebody. It's okay to think differently. If you make it your personal duty to let everyone know you disagree with each and every little thing that comes out of someone's mouth, then you should probably back off. As well as that- what kind of pathetic existence is that, anyway? Not everyone has to think the exact same thing as you, and that's okay. If you can agree to disagree with somebody, and the two of you accept it, then you'll both be better people for it. And if it gets to you that much? Then maybe you need to reassess who you're spending time and data with. 

You're offended? Good for you. 

Writing cheques my body can't cash

There just aren't enough hours in the day. 

I would blog every day if I could, but I'm too busy doing other things.

I don't mean that to sound "holier-than-thou" or pretentious. I would love to write more often but other stuff happens and I don't have much sit-down time.

Hoping what I'm immediately writing after this will make up for the lull...

Been ages, so here's a personal update!

Hey readers!

Things have been quiet from my end for a while, I know that. This has been for several reasons:-

I was cramming the overtime 

I've been spending time with my girlfriend, friends and family

I've been doing a bit more gaming 

I've gotten into a new band, and as a result I've had to practice more and write music.

All these things take up time unfortunately, but that's life! I'll try and post some provocative articles over the next week or so and it'll be like I've never left. Promise. 

Today I wrote a letter.

Tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the passing of someone very dear to me. I wrote them a letter, of sorts, and sent it to their Facebook. 

---

Has it really been four years?

I know you won't read this. I don't even know if your family has any control or access to your Facebook at all. So I suppose a part of me writing this is about me. The larger part however, is that I truly miss you and everything that made you who you were.

Our friendship wasn't perfect- we had our rocky patches, our ups and downs. Towards the end we were nowhere near as close as we had been, and hadn't spoken in a good long while. 

Despite all that, from the moment I met you until the day you left, i thought the absolute world of you. I never hated you. For a time I loved you. 

I don't believe in god. I know you didn't either, because I remember your reaction to getting baptised. I don't know if you've gone to any afterlife, or you live on in some inscrutable way. What I do know is that you're free of pain. 

Aside from the hope Scotland might decide to be an independent country in a week, (I wonder what you might have thought of that!) the world is largely still the same. It got that little bit darker when you left, but it still has its bright and shining moments that make it all worthwhile, just like all the moments we had when you were still here.

Your journey was indeed, full of laughter. And I still remember, whether our paths cross again in some way or not- I walked with you once, and so a part of you walks with me still.

Love always

Scott xx

---

I know she won't read it, but a part of me feels better for having done so. 

I miss you terribly Natz. 

Tuning into the Feminist Frequency

Recently- I watched an ongoing series called Tropes VS Women in Video Games. I think it's fantastic and really gets its teeth into a lot of major problems with how women are represented in this industry. It also nods toward a larger problem of obsession with games being overly violent in general.

However, I felt the need to get in touch with Anita Sarkeesian and her team via their website contact box. 

This is what I wrote. If I am replied to I shall post it here as well.

---------------

Hello Anita and team Feminist Frequency!

I am a fairly recent viewer of the channel. 

Admittedly, having had seen some of the earlier material, I had dismissed it as being at the needlessly radical end of feminism, which does nothing to promote equality in any real terms. I now see that I have been mistaken, mainly due to not having viewed enough.

I particularly enjoy the current series- Tropes VS Women in Video Games. I am an avid gamer myself and have been since age 5 when I first switched on a SNES. Video games have always been a form of escapism for me in the same way as a novel. I agree that however beloved a game or franchise is, it should not be immune from criticism- indeed, criticism is an important part of any media. I fully agree that too many modern games are far too obsessed with violence and being "dark", "edgy", and "gritty". Despite there being more female central characters in video games than ever- the industry is not representing women fairly or correctly, and this needs to be addressed; both by external criticism and by change from within from more female game developers. I cannot understand all of these gaming trolls who think that your videos will somehow "be takin' their vidya away". Anything that serves to improve and diversify videogaming, as well as making it more accessible and enjoyable to more people ought to be celebrated.

I have a small piece of constructive criticism, particularly for Anita Sarkeesian. Anita, your criticisms of the industry and the wrongs it does to women in gaming are right on the money- the "Ms Male character" the "girls in refrigerators" and "damsel in distress" are all harmful and detrimental to attitudes towards women in a wider sense. However, when it comes to newer, more progressive games, they are glossed over quickly or largely ignored in your videos. Instead, you focus on what games of the past have gotten wrong. It's important to balance criticisms with good examples that already exist. I love that you mentioned Beyond Good and Evil, and rightly described it as a very positive game in it's representation of women- but you never went into any depth as to WHY that is. Why Jade is an excellent character. Why the plot is very gender friendly whilst still having that darker edge to it. 

Constructive criticism has to somehow suggest how a wrong can be made right, or ways in which something can actively be improved. Without that, it is seen as plain criticism at best; complaining at worst.

I have not forgotten the excellent concept "The Last Princess"- the game that you and team FemFreq coined as a woman-centric game with an empowered female lead character. I would buy this game in a heartbeat, as it sounds fantastic. In fact- why doesn't FemFreq enter talks with a studio to get this game made? If you were actively involved as design consultants then the game would set a standard for gaming attitudes. This was not only a sweeping away of harmful tropes and clichés; but a way to bypass them and actively address the issues in a very real sense.

At the very least however, I would really love to see parts of the series with a more positive spin. As well as informing and raising awareness of what developers are doing wrong; I would say it's as important (maybe even more so) to raise awareness on what they're doing RIGHT.

Sincerely yours, 

Scott Smillie.