Today I wrote a letter.

Tomorrow is the fourth anniversary of the passing of someone very dear to me. I wrote them a letter, of sorts, and sent it to their Facebook. 

---

Has it really been four years?

I know you won't read this. I don't even know if your family has any control or access to your Facebook at all. So I suppose a part of me writing this is about me. The larger part however, is that I truly miss you and everything that made you who you were.

Our friendship wasn't perfect- we had our rocky patches, our ups and downs. Towards the end we were nowhere near as close as we had been, and hadn't spoken in a good long while. 

Despite all that, from the moment I met you until the day you left, i thought the absolute world of you. I never hated you. For a time I loved you. 

I don't believe in god. I know you didn't either, because I remember your reaction to getting baptised. I don't know if you've gone to any afterlife, or you live on in some inscrutable way. What I do know is that you're free of pain. 

Aside from the hope Scotland might decide to be an independent country in a week, (I wonder what you might have thought of that!) the world is largely still the same. It got that little bit darker when you left, but it still has its bright and shining moments that make it all worthwhile, just like all the moments we had when you were still here.

Your journey was indeed, full of laughter. And I still remember, whether our paths cross again in some way or not- I walked with you once, and so a part of you walks with me still.

Love always

Scott xx

---

I know she won't read it, but a part of me feels better for having done so. 

I miss you terribly Natz.