Panem et Circenses.

Now that Britain's Got Talent has returned to national television I find myself in a curious conflict: relief versus penetrating despair for humanity.

I should explain. I mean relief, in the sense I'll be spared from it. For a couple of years now, I have forsaken a television service. I only watch catch up and streaming services, and in doing so, I save £145 per year by not paying a TV License. Sure- there are things I miss. I am a fan of documentaries, I like an edgy drama special now and then and enjoy debate and panel shows- but so much of television today is complete and utter dreck. Fly on the wall shows. Game shows. Talent shows. Parades of Z list celebrities trying to recapture an audience. "Talent" shows. 

Which brings us neatly to Britain's Got Talent. Ironically- the show's title doesn't give me this feeling. "Britain's got a lot of shameless, grasping, attention seeking, desperate souls who will debase themselves on national television for a shot at easy money" might be a bit long, I suspect, but is closer to the mark. "Britain's got some Talent when you sift through all the shit" pretty much sums it up.

 

Be under no illusions. BGT is not out to make "stars;" it is out to make money. It is out to keep both of Cowell's Bugatti Veyrons purring along affluent roadsides. 

Aside  from that I hardly need to mock

It because it has gotten so ridiculous it is now a parody of itself. Everyone knows that some auditions are just included for ratings. Everyone knows these people shouldn't get through to the next rounds (but they inadvertently do) just to make "good television" and promote discussion. It's only through being discussed that shows like these maintain relevance at all. 

I ask the same question of the genre that Bowling For Soup once did ("When Did reality, become TV?), but I have a particular distaste for "talent shows", particularly when there is music involved. I've stated already that I am a music elitist- for better or worse. I believe that music should come from that creative place deep inside every mind. It should come from how you feel about the world, how you feel about being in it, and sharing that with others. Talent shows make it all about money, fame and selling records. It's for Simon Cowell- not the artists.

However, because it is a catapult into the limelight, as opposed to the traditional methods of getting yourself out there musically, desperate and deluded souls will continue to sign up to try and get their shot. The reality is Britain does have talent, but it isn't on this programme; it's in the small venues around the UK just waiting to be found.

Artists who have built themselves up from the ground with integrity also have something these manufactured singers don't. Longevity. Even the ones who win talent competitions (with few exceptions like Will Young) have a year of success at best before their labels drop them and they fade into obscurity- only to be replaced by next year's winner. 

I think that's what offends me most of all. It's not just that I don't like the manufactured pop these shows turn out; I can't respect any of it. It has no substance. Then again, the easily amused masses who keep these shows running don't respect it either; they're just interested in sampling the flavour of the month. I am a music elitist because I don't accept mediocrity. That's all these people are. They are a cheap and cheerful and inoffensive. Our Panem et Circenses. Nothing more than a distraction for those with low attention spans and money from which- like the proverbial fools- they are soon parted.

Know Thyself

Today, I read something which has changed how I view myself.

That sounds awfully dramatic I know, but let me explain.

I regularly buy a concise, yet quality newspaper (the "i"). In it today was an article that suggested that "mindfulness" could be as effective in preventing relapses in depression as anti-depressant drugs. It explained the scientific studies which back this up, and also a little on mindfulness as a concept; it derives from certain philosophies of Buddhism and meditation practices.

Then came the all important sentence that made me stop and think about myself. These are the words of William Kuyken, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Oxford Univerisity, and I will reproduce them here in full so that none of their impact is lost.

"Recurrent depression is characterised by people who have very negative thoughts about themselves, other people and the world, and those negative thoughts can quickly go into a downward spiral of depressive relapse. As an example, a mother of a young toddler in one of my classes was pushing her toddler on a swing, she had the thought 'I don't deserve this happiness, this happiness is t going to last, I'm not a good mother. Mindfulness based cognitive therapy enables someone like her to see those as thoughts and not as facts- as phenomena that come into the mind and pass through the mind but aren't necessarily true about her or her relationship with her child. That can break up and prevent the downward spiral into depressive relapses" -- William Kuyken, i newspaper 21/04/15, article by Charlie Cooper)

If you have ever dealt with depression in your life, let that sink in. 

When I have felt low in the past, I have been largely unable to get past the thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness. However, I have been reminded the way I feel is not my fault; it's an imbalance within me. If you know your own mind, and are mindful of the thought processes you go through when you are feeling this way, you can remind yourself that's all that they are- thoughts- not facts. How you feel about yourself is not the true picture of yourself- it is but one perspective. As Oz told the Tin Man: 

"A heart is not measured by how much you love; but how much you are loved by others"

This seems like an amazing tool to break the cycle of depression; I can see myself muttering "thoughts-- not facts" under my breath for the foreseeable future

 I plan to further explore the concept of mindfulness. It's probably the closest thing to a spiritual experience I'm likely to have in life- and it's all rooted in logic and rational thought. 

How Hard is it to Share the Love?

In the middle of last year, I read an article on the concept of polyamory. It fascinated me. 

The concept rejects the current societal norm of monogamous relationships, and instead, any relationships entered into are considered "open", allowing you; in theory at least; to love and commit to more than one person. 

At first glance, it seems to be that this is a way to justify "having your cake and eating it"- being committed as a partner whilst still being able to date, and sleep around if you so desire. Sanctioned infidelity, as it were.

On closer inspection, I think there's a little more to it than that. 

Here's an analogy that might make sense- if you have ever loved an ex partner, and found a new relationship. You loved your ex before you separated, and you love your new partner now; but in a different way. No two relationships are entirely the same, and the feelings you felt and the reasons you loved them are subtly different but valid. Is it such a stretch of the imagination to be able to love more than one person simultaneously? It's certainly easy enough to become attracted to, or have a crush on someone extraneous to a committed relationship- and in my view that's okay- because of your obligations, you don't act on it.

There are plenty of arguments against monogamy. Take all the broken relationships you can think of. Think of every agony aunt column you've ever read. How many of them involved infidelity and cheating? How many people do you know that have divorced and remarried? How many bored and unhappy relationships are you aware of in your nearest and dearest? I am not justifying "playing away", but it has to be said that a lot of monogamous relationships- even when running otherwise smoothly- hit the bump of infidelity. Whether that is a personal flaw, or a flaw in the idea of monogamy itself, is open to interpretation.

All rational thinking people recognise the idea of "The One" as complete nonsense. Do you honestly believe that out of almost 7 billion people on earth there is only one destined to be with you? What if you never meet them? What if they happen to live in Outer Mongolia? What if you meet them, and don't even like them? Scuppered.

Having said all this, I don't think just anybody can make a polyamorous life work. I believe that it takes a certain type of person with a very specific mindset to enter into such relationships- and I'm not sure I would fall into that category, for a couple of different reasons.

Firstly, division of time. If the relationships you are part of, being polyamorous, are separate but equal; how do you decide who to spend time with, and when? The schedule must be intense. I would also be worried about making someone feel less cared for, because they feel I'm spending more time with someone else I've been interested in. What about family commitments and holidays? Over time, even if I did get used to it, I think I would feel a little like Bilbo Baggins, at age eleventy-one:

"...Thin. Sort of stretched, like... Butter spread over too much bread."

Secondly, Jealousy. Whilst I may feel fine about spending quality time and having sex with different partners- how would I feel knowing someone I cared about, or indeed loved, was doing the same? If you are in the slightest bit insecure, or begin to think you are inadequate, or not enough for a partner, (even in monogamy) those thoughts can eat away at you like a parasite; and unravel the strongest ties. Is their other partner fitter than I am? Better in bed? Easier to talk to? Better looking? More attentive? Funnier? How would you reconcile that, and break away from such a spiral of negative thinking? One way might be to go out in search of another partner or one-night-stand; but by that stage, would it really help with anything other than fuelling your own resentment? It would be a sticking plaster, but you'd pick at the scab, over and over. 

On the other side of that coin, a jealous partner could be just as destructive. How do you placate that, when at the beginning of the relationship you've set the ground rules? How do you make them feel truly cared about whilst caring for another? I suppose it must come back to what I said before, about dividing your time, and loving in a distinct way.

Thirdly, my attitude to cheating. I am pleased to say I have never cheated on a partner. When I'm with someone it's made very clear right at the start, that I am committed and faithful, and ask them to do the same- urging them to make it clear to me if they are unhappy, so that it can be sorted one way or another. Sneaking around behind your partner's back is a betrayal of trust- and a dealbreaker.  I have, however, been the "bit on the side" on three separate occasions whilst single, and I must confess I do not feel in the least bad about it- because of the accounts the women gave me of their relationships. I realise this could be seen as somewhat contradictory- but I would quite honestly never have entered into a committed relationship with these women- if anything I was a confidant, with benefits. Having said that, if I entered into a polyamorous relationship knowing full well the implications of it from the get-go, I would probably fare better, because I know exactly what is expected of me, and the other person. That of course, would be entirely dependant on me overcoming any aforementioned insecurities. 

Finally, a big problem would be finding people interested in the idea. It's not a popular school of thought- as I said, it's generally accepted that relationships should be monogamous. There are laws in place against bigamy- the act of marrying more than one person- but this is probably as much about making the ownership of property as simple as possible, as it is about singular love. Can you imagine a lawyer trying to navigate the division of marital assets at a double divorce? It would be utter chaos. Returning to my point though; it's not something most people would readily enter into- finding like minded partners would be difficult, and you would probably end up spending a lot of time single until you did.

In summation, polyamory would appear to require several important attributes. Any person living this kind of life would have to be very secure in their own body and mind. The way in which you loved would not be grabbing, possessive, or jealous. It is an acceptance that the person that you love is not yours to own, and that you're okay with that; content for a portion of their time and of their care. What is more natural and purer than that? I applaud the idea of such love- in some senses it is close to an ideal. However, with that in mind, I will have to concede that for the vast majority of us- flawed as we are- it is a concept that will never work, and for the sake of health and sanity, is probably best left alone. Indeed, because of the way I have conducted myself whilst in a relationship in the past, and to this day- it probably wouldn't work for me. 

Everything a guitarist could want?

Recently I've been doing a lot musically.

I've gotten an 8 string guitar, which has opened up new worlds for me in sound. I've been exploring it in a new prog metal band. I've also been doing acoustic material with a female singer. Up until this point it's been covers, but we are now putting together original material.

So surely, I couldn't possibly need any more guitars? Surely I have everything I need?

Well, yes. At the moment I have everything I need to be fully creative in the projects I'm working on. However- I have a guitar hit-list of sorts that still has a couple of things on it. 

Many readers won't understand this. I know, I can only play one guitar at a time.  That much is true, but guitars all have different voices. 

Sure, you COULD play blues on my 8 string. However, it would probably never sound as good as it would on a hollow body. You could play metal on a road worn telecaster, but you won't get the sound or feel you'd get from guitars built with that in mind.

Here are a few of the guitars I wish to own in the future:-

A double neck- possibly the BC Rich Bich one.

A hollow body- probably the Hagström Viking Baritone

A Harp guitar

An Ibanez Universe

A Gibson Flying V

Some kind of Single-cut

An Ibanez Destroyer

An Ibanez Fireman

Those are some of my more realistic aspirations. There are others, but they go from the sublime to the ridiculous. I also hope to make the jump to Axe-FX or Kemper for sound modelling, as well as numerous effects to expand my pedalboard.

I'll always be chasing that sound in my head- and no single piece of gear has it.